The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Gary Dr. Chapman

Author:Gary Dr. Chapman [Dr. Chapman, Gary]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Published: 2013-12-17T05:00:00+00:00

FINDING A BALANCE

Recently, I spent some time with John and Ellen, who are in their late thirties and have three children. He is a medical doctor and she is a nurse, though she only works part-time since the first child arrived. I asked, “How do the two of you negotiate the responsibilities of parenting and household management?”

John smiled and said, “Sometimes, I’m afraid we don’t do a very good job.”

Ellen agreed, adding, “We’re doing much better now than we did when we only had one child. Our first baby changed our lives so dramatically, I could not believe it. I had planned to go back to work full-time when the baby was three months old, but to be honest, I guess it was my maternal instincts, but I simply could not walk away and leave my baby every morning. That’s when John and I agreed that I would go to a part-time schedule, but we still had a lot of details to work out. When the children were preschoolers, we had someone come in and care for the children when we were away. Now that they are all in school, I work my schedule so that I can be home when the children arrive in the afternoon.

“John has been great to help with all the things that have to be done around the house.”

“I never dreamed that I would be doing laundry and cleaning the toilet,” John added. “But I have to admit, it gives me a great sense of accomplishment, and I know that Ellen really appreciates what I do.”

“He even cooks sometimes—only if it’s basic stuff,” Ellen said.

“I’m pretty good with hamburgers and hot dogs!” John said. “I did try macaroni the other night and it turned out pretty well.”

“Our biggest challenge is finding time for each other,” he continued. “We want to be involved in the lives of our children, and I think we are doing a pretty good job. But sometimes, we realize that we don’t have enough time for just the two of us. We work at it, and sometimes we have to make hard decisions. Last weekend, for example, I said no to a medical conference so that the two of us could have a weekend together. My folks came and kept the children. It was great to have three days with just the two of us.”

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